Her borrowed HBOGo account was acting up again, so she decided to delete the app from her kindle and re-upload. She clicked on a random title to see if that had fixed the issue, and found herself watching all 10 episodes of Tell Me You Love Me from 2007.
Parts hurt her heart because they reminded her of her marriage, and how easily these couples seemed to get into therapy and be open and honest with each other. How they seemed to evolve, devolve, change. Not stay the same for 10 years.
She also thought a lot about KSL and the potential relationship. After their conversation, she felt stretched, distanced from him. She invited him over on Friday, he had not shown up. Saturday she texted him asking if he was going to the Improv show, because she was working front of house and could put him and his girlfriend on the list. "Not this week it seems. Sorry" he texted back.
"No worries, just didn't want to save seats if it wasn't necessary." She texted, then set her phone down and got ready to leave. She saw two texts from him later when she picked up her phone to leave her studio, about 45 minutes apart. The latter was the "afterthought message." The reaching out and trying to reconnect text. Five minutes later she just texted "Thanks" and went about her night.
The afterthought message had become his only "tell" that he cared after that night she moved into her studio. They had dubbed their first kiss "The birthday kiss" but they had yet to put a title to what happened that night. It was hard to believe that the birthday kiss had only happened a little over a month ago, it seemed like a lifetime.
Their whole relationship had seemed like a lifetime. Things had gotten intense so quickly. To gain some perspective, she went over his tag in the blog, looking for clues. Overarching ideas. Reading through everything cleared nothing up for her. They were both equally wrong and right for each other. Even in all the reading she did about their Myers-Briggs types, their relationship was almost textbook. She knew from her reading that all INFJs have a sort of fascination with ENFJs. Of course, she couldn't find out how ENFJs felt about INFJs...the missing piece.
He said he didn't know. Much as she tried to suss it out...neither did she. She felt stuck on the steps of the palace.
