Wednesday, November 29, 2017


Right before Thanksgiving, she started to not feel well.  She resisted, because she hadn't been sick since getting her tonsils out, and she had fancied herself immune to all diseases since completing the HPV vaccine.

A few days later she started to feel worse, and realized she couldn't continue to blame it on allergies.  She was sick.


It was a terrible time for her.  She had time in early December to go to Urgent Care, but not before.

The Ex came over for Thanksgiving, and she was cranky and sick the whole day.  He had come over so early, wanting to watch the parade with her.  Half an hour before the parade started he knocked on her door.  They watched the parade with her in her bed and him on the couch.  When it was over they watched White Christmas, their tradition.  She put on a movie for him and she took a shower, but it didn't really make her feel any better.

They watched a few other movies, she tried to help make dinner but couldn't manage a lot.  He burned and ruined her cookie sheet and two of her pots.  She didn't have time to get new ones, they would have to wait.

The ex left around 10 at night.  She was exhausted and went straight to bed.

Monday, November 20, 2017

Going Back to the Well

"What ever happened to that guy you were seeing super casually, the scientist?"  A couple of people asked.  It was enough to make her really think about it...what did happen to him?

They'd left off with him needing about a month to get all his tests taken.  Then her next month got super busy and he had never texted her back.

She should have just let it die.  Obviously, he hadn't reached out to her, so that was the end, right?

Wasn't it?

She thought about it for a week.  She could text him.  The door wasn't closed.

She didn't tell anyone because they would tell her to leave it alone.  Not to text him.

She thought to herself, three different people brought it up...that means something.  She felt compelled.

" was your summer?"

"Wow, are you drunk?" Came the response.

"Nope, only you try and get me drunk."

They fell into their old song and dance routine.  Their tete-a-tete was unparalleled, and she realized how much she missed it.  Missed him.

She went out on a limb and told him so.  They bantered back and forth and he told her he hadn't messaged her back because she had come on too strong.  She thought back and couldn't think of when that had happened.  She apologized to him and said that wasn't her intention, and she was okay with just being friends with him.

So they made a non-date for a few days in the future to see the new Superhero movie.  He warned that he might have to cancel, and she told him that she didn't expect anything less of him.

He didn't end up canceling, and they ended up having a good night.  They did end up flirting a little, and he did end up in her apartment.  He never touched her, and she never invited it.  He told her that she had come on too strong when she had complained about her day, then apologized saying that they weren't at the complaining stage yet.

She rolled her eyes.  It was never going to be anything serious, and she was glad for it.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Float Like a Butterfly...

When she was younger she used to babysit this snobby little girl.  The girl loved to pretend like she knew everything even though she was essential just a little girl.

One day they found a wasp stuck in her bathroom.  "Don't!" She yelled at the girl as she swatted at insect without any thought to her own safety.  She got stung and panicked.

Quickly her adrenaline kicked in.  She checked for a stinger, there wasn't one in her skin.  She put some ice on it and then called her mother.  "She got bit by a bee!" She screamed into the phone.

Her mother came and told her there wasn't any more to be done.  She had done a good job, taken care of the problem.

The child's mother came home soon afterward, and when she was recounting the story, she began to cry.  Sob.  Completely break down in the retelling of the traumatic event.

She felt the same the day after her latest play.  It wasn't the usual ennui or la petite morte she usually had.  It was a traumatic event she had gotten out of by the skin of her teeth.

The director had been mean, to other people and to her.  She had stood up to him, more than she ever needed to stand up to anyone.  It had been one of the most stressful and emotionally draining months of her life.  She felt like she needed to cry.  Sob.  Completely break down.

She was still traumatized by it all.  She couldn't do it.  She still felt like she was still in the situation, like the monster was hiding just around the corner.  Three small bruises on her arm showed his final strike, when he grabbed her and told her she was a "straight shooter" while gifting her with a cannon from the set.  She wasn't even sure it was his to give.

She couldn't relax.  Her entire body was sore, she didn't feel well.  Her body started reacting physically as the day wore on.  She needed to get food but couldn't get away from the bathroom.  Mel brought her food in-between his two jobs.  She told him he was fantastic.