Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Sex In A Different Bed

She and Nameless decided to go to the bar at the base of her old building, since it was so close to where he was staying.  She assumed incorrectly that they had a good beer menu, and he decided to order a cocktail when he realized she'd been wrong.

After arguing about Marvel movies, who was the best Batman, Why a movie was a best Batman, the differences between "masculine" and "feminine" and him bullshitting with the bartender, he asked her if she wanted another drink.  She declined, again stating that at some point she was going to need to drive home.  He was again disappointed that she wasn't staying, and she told him with all the last minute she didn't have time to prepare.

He had one last beverage, she enjoyed her water, and then they walked back to the hotel.  The evening had been so wonderfully nice; good food, good conversation, great drinks. He listened to her, respected her opinions, but was able to debate and throw down when need be.  Even though their hang out sessions had been rare, they had finally maintained an ease.  She leaned into his towering 6' 2" frame as they got into the elevator, and he maintained the closeness.  She wasn't used to someone not pulling away, emotionally or physically.

She checked out the view, which was just her old view but closer to the ground.  They were suddenly kissing, the act was so fluid she didn't even remember it starting.  It felt so familiar and warm, as if they had been doing this all along.

Emotionally and physically they both knew where the other one stood.  He would only be in town occasionally, the worry of any sort of relationship was alleviated by the fact that he no longer lived in town.  It was the perfect casual encounter.  He was attentive both before, during, and after.  It was exciting, wonderful, and she felt like her heart was also in a safe place. 

When she said she should be heading home, he again chided her for not packing a bag, then walked her out to the corner where her car was parked.  He gave her a quick kiss goodbye, and she road the high for a long while.  They tried to meet up again the same week but the schedule didn't work out, so she said to just let her know a week beforehand in the future so she could clear her schedule.

Then the radio silence started up again, but she didn't mind at all.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Shall We Move On?

"Next week I'm at the downtown hotel...right next to your old place."

"I always wondered what the view looked like from there"

" you are inviting yourself to my hotel room?"

"I'm not inviting myself anywhere, just saying I was wondering about the rooms."

"Ha, you were totally inviting yourself, but that's okay.  I have no problem taking you up to the room."

She admitted she might have been inviting herself.  After all she was the one who had convinced Nameless that she wouldn't be having him in nature.  He had wanted to forgo the hotel and camp and invited her to join him. She informed him of her extreme princess status and how the outdoors was not a friend of hers.  It didn't take much convincing for him to book a room.

A few weeks later he was texting that he was in town.  After some back and forth they finally decided to meet up at the last minute downtown after she got off work.

She moved her car and they met up at the base of his hotel.  He side-hugged her and hustled her off to dinner, explaining he was starving.  They'd never had anything more than a few tapas together before and she was shocked at his actual hunger.  She got to explain to him that MP on the menu for the steaks at the restaurant stood for "Market Price." He declared himself too hungry to care and told her to order anything she wanted.

Two Market Price Steaks and two Old-Fashions later, and he opted for a third drink and she had some dessert.  He let her wax poetic about what was wrong with the local theatre scene, and what she would do to fix it, if she was going to stay in it.  As it currently stood, she didn't think she was going to attempt it again.  It hurt her heart too much to keep going with people not valuing her opinion or effort, or giving her a chance to direct.

Besides, she was having such a great time having downtime at the moment, otherwise she wouldn't be able to meet up with Nameless.  Hell, she'd had so many other friend commitments she had barely met up with him anyway.  She deliberately didn't make plans for two nights that week.

"Shall we move on to a bar?" He asked.  "I don't know how many other drinks I can have, I still have to try home tonight." She responded.

"You didn't pack a bag?"

Friday, August 24, 2018

This Never Happened...Again

"I'm sorry, um, about all that.  Won't happen again." KSL said before he went off to bed.  He had finally sobered up and all had seemed well.  She was pretty content to never speak of it again.

The next day he tweeted about hangovers in his 30's, which she took as a "I'm going to pretend like it didn't happen." Which confirmed they were not going to have a talk about it.  She breathed a sigh of relief and went on with the rest of her day.

It was a false relief.  When they met up at home after work, he apologized again.  She avoided his eyes and said "I didn't think we were going to talk about that."

But they did start a discussion.  About loneliness, regret, and the whys behind it all.  Even though she didn't want to talk about it, the conversation was a little healing on both sides.

"So again, I'm sorry, and it won't happen again." He repeated.  "You handled that pretty well."

"Okay" she said in a cynical tone.

"You kinda sound like I don't mean it, like you believe it's going to happen again." KSL was quick to respond.

"Listen, every time we've said this to each other, that's it's never going to happen again, something happens.  I'm tired of lying about myself and to you."

He again stated that she had "handled it well" and she felt an inner conflict and couldn't help but overthink the statement.  How else could she possibly have handled it?  Gone along with it?  Slept with him?  Let it get out of hand and risk that box of feelings she had getting out, only to get wildly slapped down the next day, hell the next few minutes after he sobered up and realized what he had done?  No, her heart didn't have any other choice than to do what she did.

He didn't dispute her logic too much in her disbelief that it would happen again.  She tried to explain that she felt like she continued to just make it worse with him, and didn't know what to do to make him feel better where it didn't get into inappropriate territory.

Physical touch was a slippery slope.  Apparently anything more than a hug was just a fast track to sex.    Which, frankly, disappointed her.  There were so many things that they could do to help each other night be lonely...but it was going to be impossible to do so.  She needed to learn how to un-care.