Monday, July 31, 2017

Listening to Reason

A Snapchat came through.  It was Mel, thanking her for the "fun evening" on Friday.  She messaged him back and said that she apologizes if she had been the Han to his Greedo and kissed first.  He replied that it was all in good fun, that he'd been wanting to do it awhile, and they were both currently single so it was no harm no foul.

She breathed a sigh of relief.  He wasn't going to be weird about it.  She didn't need to worry.  She'd heard stories about him freaking out over girls and his many sexual proclivities.

Now she could just go back to worrying about sex with Nameless.

She had finally gotten her test results back, negative.  After the slight scare and a friend confiding to her that he had gotten HPV a few days prior, she had been a little worried.

She had texted him that she was "squeaky clean like a rubber ducky" but hadn't gotten a response yet.  He was so stoic, and she thought that maybe that is what was messing with her.

She had to focus on what was.  He said that he thought it was obvious that he liked her body and mind.  She'd obviously turned him on, and he had said that if he didn't want her to be there, she wouldn't be.  He had been respectful always, a gentleman...while still being fun loving, passionate about his work, and a lover of all things Kevin Smith, an apparent requirement of hers.

Slightly more assurance would be nice, but she needed to get with the facts and listen to reason.  It was perfectly okay to proceed.

Finally a response came from him.  "Hahaha...well that's good.  Now don't sleep with dirty dirty guys."

"Well crap.  Now what am I going to do with you?"

Not much as it turned out.  A friend of his had come into town and he might be going out of town the entire next week.

"It's okay," she responded. "I know you can find a way to make it up to me later. 😘"

"Challenge accepted."

Friday, July 28, 2017

Harmless Fun Part 2

The group lost AB and BFF as they moved onto a gay bar.  It came down to JJ, Rey, and a group of people she almost never spent time with.  One in particular, Mel, she hadn't seen in almost a year, save for a quick moment when he came to her work to sign up for something.  He was out celebrating his birthday that night.  They had worked on a show together 2 years ago, and he had held him while he cried about an ex-girlfriend who had come to the show and brought up some feelings for him.

He was a bad actor, but as a person completely harmless.  She had never really thought of him one way or another since, had even deleted his information out of her phone during one of those times when she needed more storage for an update.

The group had started to pair up on the dance floor, leaving them together.  She had another drink and when drunk she loved to dance, so she grabbed him and pulled him onto the dance floor.  Grabbing his hand felt familiar, and she suddenly realized that at the last bar she had grabbed it to get him to leave while he was talking to KSL's ex.  She was on a whole 'nother level of aggressive tonight.

She knew that she was too drunk to be dancing well, and started to lean into him for support...which led to slightly more intimate dancing.  The alcohol throbbed through her system as the beat got more and more intense.

She couldn't remember if he'd kissed her first, or she had kissed him.  The memory was lost in time.  All she could remember was that they were kissing, and had been for awhile.  Without inhibition, a thought to how he was 9 years younger than her, or any other logical thought, she just enjoyed the moment.  He was a great kisser, almost better than KSL had been.  He kept up with her style and knew all the right places to grab her while they kissed.  She was addicted and kept going back for more.

3:00 AM came around and they headed out of the club.  The rest of the group head off towards their car, and he offered to walk her the half-block home.  She decided to let him.

The stopped across the street from her building, and came together to kiss again.  She got lost in it until she realized people were walking by them and how they must look.

"I could come up." He offered.

"I'm drunk, not stupid" she thought to herself, but to him she just said "I don't think so.  This was fun though."

"I've wanted to do this for two years.  Even before, when you were married...I feel bad about that, but I wanted this.  I really wanted to kiss you."

Her mind went through a range of thoughts.  The first being that she thought that was a great line, and would have totally worked on a girl his age to get him to come up.  The second being that he was earnest enough to mean that, and it was flattering.  The third being that she was now worried he was going to think they had something going on...and she felt nothing for him.  Even though she and Nameless hadn't had a talk about exclusivity, she felt like being exclusive with him.  She had no idea what came over her that night.

"I had fun...but I'm way too old for you.  This was a birthday present."

They kissed again.  She was embarrassed by how addicted she was to feeling so desired by someone.

It was awhile before they broke apart and she walked into her building, alone.

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Harmless Fun Part 1

She was overthinking again, ruining a nice thing.  Really she was just nervous about getting to the point where she needed to sleep with Nameless.  She wanted to sleep with him.  She was just scared...scared he wasn't feeling that this was anything more than a fling.  Not being able to see him very frequently gave her far too much time to think.

She went to volunteer for a show and her friend Rey bought her a drink.  The show was sold out, so instead of staying to watch it, she, AB, BFF, and Rey went out to eat.  Half a sandwich and another drink later, and they walked across the street to a bar.  3 drinks after that, she had texted her friend JJ to come join them, saying "There's a 90% chance I'll make out with you." knowing it would be an innocent "Disney Friends With Benefits" situation.

She was still full of hormones from the night before, and she impulsively texted Nameless "I'm so drunk right now.  I wish you were in town."  At noon the next day he would text back "Drunk cute"

While she was having a good time she looked across the bar...and saw KSL's ex.  The one he had left when they were first together.  She was drunk and running on pure emotions, and she was totally irritated that his ex was again crashing the same bar she was in.  For some reason she blamed KSL, and texted him as such.  It led to yet another back and forth between them where she told him that he no longer had any use for her because she was no longer weak, and he preyed on the weak.

A couple of other mutual friends joined up with them, and decided to move onto the next bar.

Monday, July 24, 2017

Seeing Where It Goes

She went back through their texts and found that he liked peanut butter milkshakes, so she picked one up for him on the way to his house at 11:00 PM at night.  After a quick kiss hello, they stood by his kitchen with their liquid delights.

She had also brought tequila which he declined.  She had a shot and she talked about the rough day that she'd had.  The construction going on around her office was slowly driving her mad.  The beeping of the machines and the yelling of the workers while she tried to make phone calls was trying at best.  She was even starting to hear construction noises in her sleep.

His work had been so delayed before the holiday, and fires surrounding the area delayed him by a whole day of travel.  He hadn't even been in town for 24 hours and he was leaving the next day.

She gave him a pouty face and said "poor baby" as she moved towards him and kissed him.  He pulled her towards him as they kissed.  After a moment they broke apart and he laughed at her height, as he was almost as tall as she was standing as he was sitting on his barstool.

"I think maybe you are just too tall.  I think I'm the perfect size."

He grabbed her around her waist and said "Hmmm...maybe.  Lets take this to the couch."

After the teasing she had promised and stepping up the physical as much as they could while keeping their clothes on, he sighed that he should be going to sleep.  She asked when he needed to get going the next morning.  He said he had to be up by 5:00 AM to do a few hours of work before driving 4 hours to his other job for the weekend.

"Jeez, do you want me to leave?  I feel bad, you don't even get a few hours sleep before heading out again.  Why did you even invite me over?"

 "Hey...if I didn't want you here, you wouldn't be here."

She slept over again, if only for a few hours.  He was grumpy in the morning, and he stated again that he wasn't a morning person.

"I know.  It's adorable." She said as she kissed his cheek.  He kissed her goodbye and watched her cross his lawn before closing his door.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Vote of Confidence

"I have plans tomorrow I can't cancel, so unless you have some free time later it's looking like next week for us." She texted Nameless.

"I will be after 11PM for sure"

"11?  Think you can remain a gentleman at that hour?"

"What is the fun in that"

"There can still be a little fun"

"That sounds like teasing"

"I'm nothing if not a tease"

"I think you need to sell this a little more.  I'm not sure I could contain myself."

She blushed deeply.  "You're killing me.  I want to but I can't yet."

"Hahaha...I always hated that time of the month"

"Aaaaaaand now I'm embarrassed."

"Haha, that's funny"

"I'm glad you are finding the humor in it, you jerk.  Am I uninvited?"

"No, I wouldn't do that.  Plus I am interested in that 'little fun' comment."

"....of course you are."

"I am a guy"

"You're not wrong.  Just as long as that's not all you are after."

"I am not after anything specific."

The comment stung.  "I'm not entirely sure how to take that."

"I am just taking things as they come."

The conversation was not going how she wanted it to go.  "I was just hoping you were attracted to my mind and my body equally Sparky."

"That too...I thought that was obvious."

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Thwarted by Technology

He came around the corner and there was something immediately familiar about him.  Maybe she'd seen him while she was walking to work before and never noticed, maybe on one of the dating sites.

The music in her earbud swelled as they approached each other.  A few doves scattered and flew into their path.  A breeze picked up and gently blew back her hair.

It would have been a beautiful meet cute...if he had ever looked up from his phone.

Monday, July 17, 2017

The Waiting Game

The day had marked a week since she'd heard from Nameless.  He went camping the previous Friday for Independence Day weekend, but he had been in a foul mood just before.  She sent him a text before he left, saying she would miss him.

Maybe that had been a mistake.

She sent him a text asking how camping had gone on Wednesday.

No answer.

They'd gone this long without talking before.  But the recent physical things had seriously screwed with her.  She had no idea if he was gone this time for good.  If he was just no longer into her.

She worked herself up into a frenzy, and it took listening to one of her own podcasts about her overthinking to stop her.  Nameless was very scientific and straightforward, he had even told her he wouldn't ghost her, he would tell her before he ghosted her, which she had laughed at.

She needed to operate under the assumption that he still liked her until being told otherwise.  When he wasn't around she needed to almost forget he even existed.  She needed to just live in the moment when she was with him.  She still had a few days before getting back her test results, she had done everything she could.

He finally texted her back two days later.  "Camping was good.  Got in late Wednesday and back to the busy grind.  Heading out shortly.  Have to meet with a few professors then head out of town.  I will be back next week."

"Have a good weekend" She texted back, and then tried to forget about it all.

Friday, July 14, 2017


Sometimes technology provided people with too much power.  She found herself with an overabundance of it during the weekend of broken promises.

The dating website had a Q&A section that she had almost forgotten about.  She found herself with too much free time, and logged on to look at Nameless' answers.

What she found was so conflicting she ended up texting Mo at 1 in the morning.  She had a gut feeling he'd be up anyway, maybe feeding his newborn.

"So what do you think it means if a guy has expressed on his dating profile that sex is extremely important to him, but in person he's not pushing it at all?  Full of shit on his profile to make himself seem cool, being respectful, or not actually interested?"

Mo was quick to answer.  "He just wants to fuck but is being gentleman-like.  Every guy wants pussy--it's just how one goes about it that makes them suave, fake, or a fucking dick."

"It's throwing me off if he's so pussy centric then why hasn't he made a move or tried to pressure me into anything.  You think he's just longhauling me?"

"He could be testing the waters because he could be like me...which means he's just making sure he actually wants to have sex with you.  Like how picky I am you know?"

She knew.  He wouldn't even talk to women if they didn't have the right kind of feet, as if that was something anyone could control.

She decided she needed to put this added knowledge to rest.  Obviously he was interested in her, and she needed to give it all a rest and chill out.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

The Weekend of Broken Promises

At the last minute her boss decided to give everyone the Monday before Independence day off, and well as the 4th.  She was more upset than anything else, as she hadn't had time to really plan anything.

She made beach plans with MG that got shut down pretty quickly by SD,  stating they had a rehearsal that night and would never get back in time.  Goldie overheard and suggested a closer beach, and that they all go.  She acquiesced.

A few days later there was a text from Goldie to her and SD.  "Why don't we make it a staycation and do a buffet and hang by the pool?"

SD responded in kind.  She did not respond at all.  She guessed it didn't matter what she thought one way or was the exact opposite of what she wanted to do that weekend.

Later Goldie again texted her about going to a ball game on July 4th.  "No thanks, I really can't afford it.  Have fun though!"

"I already bought your ticket!"

She scowled.  She didn't even ask her if she wanted to go, just bought a ticket.  She disliked having plans made for her.  Her plans for the weekend had been all well and good until Goldie came along and blew them up.  Suddenly all she wanted to be was alone.

Again, she didn't respond.  Goldie pushed.  She became more angry, and still didn't respond.  Eventually she had to respond as Goldie kept hounding her.  She was as restrained as possible.  Goldie still said some harsh, rude things to her under the guise of friendship.  Then she insisted on a trip to wine country that was a few hours away, only to say it would be pretty pricey an hour later.

Dejected, she left her suitcase out on her coffee table, packed only with some underwear and pj's.  She was so desperately tired of being jerked around.  Her heart hurt.

Monday, July 10, 2017


"So you think you have a yeast infection." The skeptical nurse practitioner stated rather than asked. 

"I do.  I just had my tonsils out and have felt pretty crappy down there ever since and I tried treating it myself several times but it's not going away."  She waited a moment, then said "And I wanted to get the HPV Vaccine while I was here, and have another round of STD tests."  She didn't say why, figuring this lady heard the story all the time.

"What kind of soap do you use?" She asked.  "Um, the sensitive kind?" 

"The body wash or the bar soap?"

"The body wash."

"The body wash is horse shit.  It's just the cosmetics companies selling you water instead of product.  Always use the bar soap.  Tell your partner to use it too, it's important for your intimate areas to be clean without harmful chemicals."

She didn't have the heart to tell the NP that she hadn't even seen his junk yet, and she thought it would be awful presumptuous to tell him what to do with it.  The NP was so forceful about her opinion she ended up promising her that she would buy the bar soap for her and her "boyfriend" just to shut her up.

The NP did her swabs and came back in with the results pretty quickly.

"You have a bacterial infection.  Have you heard of vaginosis?" The nurse practitioner asked her.

Her heart immediately went into her throat.  That sounded serious.  What had she caught?

Someone stepped in to talk to the doctor and she stopped her explanation.  She panicked further until she came back around and said it was a typical thing.  "Most people have it when they think they have a yeast infection.  I'm sure it's just from your weakened immunity from your surgery.  I'll call in a prescription for you."

"Now about your vaccine.  It's three shots, taken six months apart.  Your insurance won't cover it, and it's $120 a shot.  Do you want to do one today?"

It was so much money, but she nodded yes anyway.  $300 for no cervical cancer and a piece of mind about not having it was worth it.

"Okay, so we will take you back out into the waiting room and get you all paid up, then take you back again for the shot.  Then we'll send you over to the lab for the rest of your requested blood work."

She got anxious again.  She was already going to be late for work.  "Listen, I didn't pack a lunch.  Can I make an appointment to do these things later?"

After work she made her way to the pharmacy to pick up her prescriptions.  The pharmacist was new, and young.  He stammered when he was talking about her prescriptions and in what order she should be taking them.

"And, lowers the potency of certain other medications you are taking.  So, if you are taking any form of birth control, you might want to um...double up?  Use a condom--use two forms.  Of birth control.  Just for this 7 day course of treatment."

She tried to interrupt, again, to no avail.  It seems everyone thought she was further along in her flirtationship than she actually was.  She had no idea when she would even see Nameless again.

"Okay, thanks" she said halfheartedly, taking her medication and heading for the exit.  In a couple of weeks she would no longer have an excuse not to have sex with him.  She wondered what she would do then.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Ms.'d Communication

She'd shot off an innocent text to Nameless on Friday and then tried to get on with her weekend and not think about him.  She realized all to well her aloofness had gotten her this far...clearly she hadn't shown him her overthinking skills.

She went shopping with Dawn, telling her about her little PG-13 romance.  Dawn was, as always, super supportive and wonderful.

"I'm...I'm afraid."  She said.  Dawn looked up from their retail therapy to take note.

"I'm afraid I don't know what a healthy relationship looks or feels like.  This feels nice but...there isn't a big spark, a big fire.  With my ex it was like this.  Nice, easy, cute.  With KSL it was like fire and danger right away.  With Piz, once things became physical, it was so exciting...but it burnt out so fast.  I don't know what feels healthy or normal."

Dawn nodded.  "I forget exactly how the saying goes, but they say that when the right one comes along you feel calm."

"But that's not very much fun" She retorted.  After a moment of silence they both laughed.

By Sunday night she was feeling a little disappointed that she still hadn't gotten an answer from her text on Friday, but he did tend to get really busy at his weekend job.

The pain was starting to worsen on Monday afternoon until she heard her phone go off.  A message on the dating website...from him.

One of the experiments at work had fried his cell phone and three others, and he had lost all his data, including her number.  He'd been waiting all weekend for her to text him so he could get her number back.  He'd never gotten her last text on Friday.

She'd won yet another Mexican standoff that she didn't know she was even having.

Because of the accident, things were going to be hard for him at work, and he wouldn't be able to see her for a week.  The next weekend was July 4th and he was going camping with friends.  It seemed as if their budding romance was put on an indefinite hold.

"Bummer." She texted him.

Monday, July 3, 2017

The Sleep('s) Over

A full 24 hours passed in silence between them.  It gave her plenty of time to feel gitty, freak out, and keep thinking about people she could tell.  Because it wasn't a secret.  She could tell anyone she wanted to.  That was a nice change.

She was talking to Mo on the phone, filling him in on her dating life.

"I don't know if it's an insult or a compliment when he says he was licking his lips for 20 minutes trying to figure out the flavor of my lip balm."

Mo retorted, "He was licking his lips for 20 minutes thinking of you Penny!  Take the compliment!"

She pushed the envelope anyway and texted Nameless back "I'm not sure if I should take that as a compliment or an insult.  I'd like to think it's an awesome olfactory siren call that reminds you of me...but the way you say it makes me think that you are kinda grossed out."

His response came 30 minutes later.  "I was actually hoping I could make time soon just so I could do it again."

So, for the first time ever, they saw each other within 48 hours of the last date.

She went over to his house in comfy work out clothes to watch the movie late that night.  She brought some rum and some coke, and because his directions to the house were confusing he said to text when she got there.  He walked out to meet her and waiting until they were inside to give her a little side hug.  She sort of expected a kiss but guessed he was "starting over" again.  She realized it was the first hug they had ever had also.

He turned off his air conditioner and they settled in on the laptop to watch the movie, him not making a move to cuddle at all.  Finally she told him he needed to turn the air back on, as she was so hot she was starting to sweat.  He concurred, and also brought out a pair of in-ear headphones back, because now the air would be too loud and they wouldn't be able to hear the movie.  "Of course, now we'll have to cuddle."

"Well played!" she retorted, her eyes smiling at him.  She snuggled up to him, but he remained reserved, only gentle grazing his hand close to her shoulder.

They talked for awhile after the credits rolled, about his experiment finally going well this week and how her week was finally about to be settling down.  She expressed how much she disliked customer service, but loved her job.

He finally, after 3 hours, bent down and kissed her.  After a few he broke it off and said "You are just so far down there.  You are so short!"

"I am, I am SO short" she laughed, straightened up, and kissed him again.  They kissed for a long time, stopping to just snuggle into one another.

"I wish we could stay just like this, and I could sleep and kiss you whenever I wake up.  But I guess I should be getting home." She said.  "I mean, if you insist." Came his light hearted but sarcastic response.

She raised her head and looked into his eyes.  "Is that an invite?  I'll stay if you remember--"

"To be a gentleman?  I remember.  I've been good, haven't I?"

"You have.  A little too good.  You could be slightly less of a gentleman."

He stood up and took her by the hand into the bedroom.  She quickly realized that it was never the passion, nor the kissing, that really stood up to a good hand hold.  He was so tall, it felt nice to be taken care of in some way, even if it felt just a little like she was a girl being lead to bed by a parent.  She was just so tired, it was around three in the morning.

His blackout curtains caused her to wrap her arm around him suddenly.  Her flimsy curtains in her apartment had afforded her little darkness in the last year, and she exclaimed to him that it was the most dark she'd experienced in a long time.  He ducked down and kissed her forehead.

He climbed on top of her and they made out for awhile before falling asleep.  His hair smelled amazing, and every beautiful thing almost made up for the fact that his couch and his bed were so poorly constructed that her body was so very sore.

In the morning he convinced her to hit the snooze a few times, and she climbed back into bed, away from the frigid temperatures he kept his bedroom.  "If we are snoozing again I need under the covers, I'm already in the second stage of hypothermia."  He laughed lightly and let her snuggle up to his back.

"I'm glad you stayed.  It was nice."  He said, still with sleep in his voice.

He wasn't a morning person.  He popped up when the alarm went off once again and said they'd slept too long and he needed to get ready.  She got her stuff and he walked her to the door with a groggy disposition, but still kissed her on the cheek.

She grabbed his hand by the door and looked into his sleepy eyes.  He understood and kissed her softly on the mouth before leaving.

"Maybe see you next week."