"Don't panic, don't do anything stupid" She said to herself, obviously already panicking.
She had just been spending time by herself in the lobby, saying goodbye to the ushers who were walking out from downstairs at their Christmas Party. She had promised the House Manager that she would attend but it was too many people in one space and she had to retreat upstairs.
An usher, an older lady who lived in her old building and she playfully called "Chanel Lady" because she was always wearing Chanel earrings and a purse, had come upstairs with her date and was clearly drunk. CL walked right up to her and said "What are you going through? I can tell these things, what is making you sad?"
She was taken aback by the question, as she was pretty content. "I'm fine, thank you. I'm really okay."
"You need a hug" CL decided, and before she knew what was happening, her entire face was now covered by the fur coat CL was wearing. She was hugging her tightly and she was having trouble breathing.
Don't panic.
She kept her grip and told her that she knew something was wrong, so she was going to "pray with her" and started babbling vaguely Christian things about how Jesus sees her and wants what was best for her. It felt like CL was raping her with her religion.
Finally after what seemed like forever, she let go. She just said "Thank you, I just felt like hugging someone." and finally left.
She felt incredibly violated in her own workspace, and left shortly after. There was a two week break just after this that made it easier to forget and be able to get back to work without it feeling like a place where she didn't want to be any longer. She reported the incident to the big boss and to HR who found it to be harmless, which only made her feel worse.
Thursday, December 19, 2019
Monday, December 9, 2019
Looking For Forever
She decided that she would let her Facebook Dating page stay up until she made three connections, then she would shut it down again and only talk to those three guys and see where it went.
She ended up talking to one for a bit, and he asked her out on a date. She said yes, but also stated that she wasn't quite in the state of mind to be seriously looking for a relationship.
They met at her favorite bar, and she introduced him to her bartender. They talked about if they were originally from the city, and what their interests were. He didn't seem to have many beyond his "Geek Chic" age group. It also didn't help that he had a 9 year old daughter that he didn't talk about, or the fact that he lived with his mom so that she could help him take care of the kid.
"So what are you looking for?" He asked her.
She took a deep breath before diving into her diatribe.
"It's such a loaded question, when in reality no one can know what they are looking for. Every person I meet is going to be a different story. I can say I want to meet someone I'd love to spend the rest of my life with, but what if the next person I meet is someone I think is really fun and different, but I don't see a long term future with? Does that mean because I'm looking for someone forever that I can't spend time with that person any longer? It could've been a great time but I'm going to throw it away because I'm 'looking for something different'? That doesn't make sense to me. Much in the same way that I might spend my life with someone but never want to have kids, or have tons of kids. Everything really depends on the other person and the type of chemistry I have with them."
"Wow, I never really thought about it like that." was his only response.
"What are you looking for?" She asked.
"I'm Looking For My Forever."
She hoped that she kept her internal eye rolling to herself. The next day he messaged her asking for a second date. She thanked him, said he was a very nice guy, which was true. But she didn't want to get in the way of his search for someone that would be forever for him.
She ended up talking to one for a bit, and he asked her out on a date. She said yes, but also stated that she wasn't quite in the state of mind to be seriously looking for a relationship.
They met at her favorite bar, and she introduced him to her bartender. They talked about if they were originally from the city, and what their interests were. He didn't seem to have many beyond his "Geek Chic" age group. It also didn't help that he had a 9 year old daughter that he didn't talk about, or the fact that he lived with his mom so that she could help him take care of the kid.
"So what are you looking for?" He asked her.
She took a deep breath before diving into her diatribe.
"It's such a loaded question, when in reality no one can know what they are looking for. Every person I meet is going to be a different story. I can say I want to meet someone I'd love to spend the rest of my life with, but what if the next person I meet is someone I think is really fun and different, but I don't see a long term future with? Does that mean because I'm looking for someone forever that I can't spend time with that person any longer? It could've been a great time but I'm going to throw it away because I'm 'looking for something different'? That doesn't make sense to me. Much in the same way that I might spend my life with someone but never want to have kids, or have tons of kids. Everything really depends on the other person and the type of chemistry I have with them."
"Wow, I never really thought about it like that." was his only response.
"What are you looking for?" She asked.
"I'm Looking For My Forever."
She hoped that she kept her internal eye rolling to herself. The next day he messaged her asking for a second date. She thanked him, said he was a very nice guy, which was true. But she didn't want to get in the way of his search for someone that would be forever for him.
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