Saturday, January 23, 2016

Namaste Bitches

"Everyone has something or someone that they long for, that they strive for.  There is always something missing in life.  I want you to think of that thing, hold it in your heart and your mind."

For the first time since she started talking this yoga class taught by TM, she couldn't think of anything.  She had a nice conversation with her mother before she left the house.  Her mom actually seemed okay with her always being out of the house.  She did still want an apartment, but that was only a couple of months away.  Just an apartment, which was in sight.

She was doing okay.  A complete change from this time last year.  It wasn't even the end of the month and she had reached her new years resolution; to be better.

"Now I want you to let it go, float away.  This is your time to be in the moment.  This time is only for you."

It was her time.  She got complimented at the end of class for doing so well.  Things were going very well.

Monday, January 18, 2016

Mamma Mia

"Did you make this?" her mother sneered, holding the application she had altered for work and given to her as a favor to a friend.

"By all means, tell me how to do my job mother."

Anyone else would take that as the sarcasm as it was, but her mother plopped down on the couch and started reading into the paper.  Sighing, she prepped for the criticism and paused the Netflix she'd been trying to watch for the last 3 hours.  For the last 3 hours her sister and mother had been sniping at each other, mostly picking the one room she was in.

She hadn't gotten a moments peace except for a half hour of folding laundry, where she discovered that 1/3rd of her clothes had gone missing.  Her sister's clothes had gone missing too, no doubt her mom had "helped" and now they were lost forever.  One of her new sweaters for work was in with the missing.  Still her mother won't accept that she has a problem with her health or her hoarding.  She needed to get out of this house.

In the end the things her mother found fault with in the application were just things she didn't understand, and she didn't think it looked professional enough.  It wasn't good enough.  She wasn't good enough.

She got it, mom.

She needed to move the hell out of that house.  She longed for time to pass and lots more paydays to fill her bank account with her escape money.

Friday, January 1, 2016


They got to the New Years party pretty early, with the intention of also leaving early to share a bottle of wine they had been saving.  She didn't really want to go at all, but had promised someone else she would make an appearance.

He ignored her the entire time they were there, continuing to drink since she was driving.  They always picked a person to DD, and it was her night.  She didn't mind, although he had gotten very angry with her the last time she drank to excess on her night.  There was alcoholism in his family and he'd always been careful.

He picked a girl he thought looked like she didn't know anyone, and paid attention to her all night.  The girl was a date of a mutual friend, and he obsessed about how cool she was all the way home, even trying to look her up on social media.  She knew it was innocent and he just wanted to be friends, but it stung a little.

When they got home he made food for himself, and sat himself away from her.  They counted down, he grabbed more to eat, then headed off to bed.  She barely got a peck on the cheek a few minutes after the countdown.  She had literally been an afterthought to his food.

She was worried he didn't love her anymore, but was too polite to say anything.