"Are you okay?" He asked with concern as he walked in the door. She said "I'll be okay, I'm calming down." She made the universal gesture for a deep breath. They embraced, and took a deep breath together. When they broke she noticed bags under his eyes. He had mentioned earlier that he was in a depressive spiral, but she didn't realize what a toll it had taken on his physical presence.
"How are you doing?" She asked as they sat on the couch.
"I've started looking at apartments...I don't know how I'm going to afford it." He was not sure how long he's going to make it before they had another fight and she threw him out. He talked about staying with his mom, and how mad that would make her. She could tell it would hurt his pride, because she had just gotten out of the same situation. He said he and the girlfriend have been distant since the last fight, and he was sure it was only a matter of time.
He made another reference to his being an asshole, and she said that he wasn't. She named off all his good qualities, and referenced the open letter she wrote him and how thoughtful he was with his girlfriend, even though the love was obviously gone. He cared. He was hurting. She wished he was listening to her, actually hearing and accepting what she was saying. Instead he was intent on staying in his depressive state.
There wasn't much she could do, so she slid over to his side of the couch and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. They stayed that way and talked about what MG said about him, his Myers Briggs type results, and why they got themselves into situations like the ones they were in. She again offered her place for him to stay if he needed to, promising she wouldn't try to get in his pants.
She sighed, he asked why. "I just wish that I could say something that would change anything about how you are feeling. I just want to take the pain away. But I can't."
She pulled away and they stared at each other with intensity. They got lost in each others eyes, he just as much as her. She told him how great his eyes were, and how cute she thought the freckles on his nose were. He found it amusing. He had a genuine smile rather than the wry smile that usually graced his lips.
He pulled a piece of fluff from her hair. She knew he meant it as a nice gesture, but she was embarrassed for being so sloppy. She had taken a small nap earlier and hadn't bothered to look at herself since. "Why do you even like me? I'm a mess." She asked him.
He took a deep breath, as if he had a list of things ready for this moment, and didn't want to screw it up or forget anything. "I'm attracted to you, physically and emotionally. I like you because you have really soulful eyes." She blushed and looked down, and he continued.
"When you look at me I feel like you can see all the way through me. I like you because I think all that snark and sarcasm is just hiding the fact that you've been hurt." She nodded, surprised that he really had been paying a lot of attention. "I like you because we get along really well." He motioned this last point by interlacing his fingers together tightly. "I like you, and I think you really deserve someone who wants to be with you and take care of you."
She smiled into his gaze, a feeling of calm coming over her for the first time in a long time. This was the first time he'd opened up to her, told her what she needed to hear from him. That she wasn't just a warm body, but that he saw her for who she was. The opening lines of "It Takes Two" sang inside her head.
His eyes darted over her face, as if scanning it for a hint of what she was thinking before he said, "...and shit, I really want to kiss you right now."
They sat cuddling for a while, in silence. Almost kissing, but never being able to let themselves pull the trigger. She hoped there would be time for that later, when it was right.
"Sorry for coming over and shitting all over you." He said to her. "That's what friends are for." She replied.
"Are we okay?" He asked.
"Better than."
