He seemed to be very distraught,
clearly beating himself up over how soon they had sex. It was then she
realized that when he kept asking her if she was okay, that maybe she should
have also been asking him.
She tried to come down from her
sex high and switch back to friend mode. She sat down next to him on the
couch and took his hand, letting it rest on her thigh. She stroked the
top of his hand as he talked about how the sex was just fantastic, making
sure that she was okay, and then continuing to freak out over the fact
that he had sex so soon after his break up. As he continued to speak,
she felt herself start to "act" supportive rather than "be" supportive.
He didn't seem to notice the difference.
She wanted to point out
that he was more than willing to have sex with her while he was still in his relationship. She wanted to say that he had explicitly stated what was
going to happen before it happened, so why did no where in that time
period did he realize he wasn't ready for it?
It seemed to be the orgasm that had
really driven it home for him, that's when his attitude changed. She felt
suddenly like she was a slight variation of that SaTC episode where Miranda dates a Catholic guy that has to take a shower after sex.
She tried to calm him down with some lighthearted logic. "But she even said it was over since your fight...you know it was the right thing to do, breaking up with her."
"I
know, I know, but...I can't help it, I can't stop freaking out. I don't think I
was ready...I need some time I think, like 3 weeks until my show is up
and running." She thought again of the open letter, and how she said that this back and forth was kind of their thing. They were the near embodiment of that song.
Then she suddenly realized she was fresh
out of fucks to give. She had a good time, felt free, felt no guilt.
His hangups were his own. He was acting like it was the end of the
world, but she was feeling the opposite. The sex had been so exciting, so easy. Enjoyable. How could anyone feel down or bad after that? Not her, that's for sure. She interrupted his spiraling monologue of guilt.
"Look, even if we never have sex again, this was really good, nice. I don't regret it. But if you aren't going to stay the night, I'm le tired. Text me when you get to your mom's place safely."
***
Her
group of guy friends had a saying, "Don't stick your dick in crazy."
But they also admitted that sometimes, sticking your dick in crazy can
be a lot of fun.
She had fun.
