Friday, June 3, 2016

Panic! At the Studio

2:00 PM: Was it heartburn?  Her chest was tight, and she couldn't figure out why.  She took some antacid medication.

2:30 PM: Her co-workers said that it was hot in the office.  Maybe she was overheated?

4:00 PM: She canceled her plans and just headed straight home from the office.  She blasted the A/C on the way...she felt worse than before.  This was a panic attack.  It had been so long since her last one she forgot how to deal with it.  She felt this odd sensation of wanting to be completely alone and needing someone to hold her.

Only there was no one to hold her.

Her long distance guy friend messaged her trying to cheer her up throughout...but she kept texting KSL.  "What's going on?"

"Nothing.  That's the fun part about panic attacks.  They just happen.  Body is just like 'freak out' and you are just like 'why' and your body says 'you gotta'"

"Oh, I know the feeling.  Was just wondering if there was a trigger."

It tapered off after 5 and a half hours, but the whole time all she wanted was a hug from someone that she knew cared.  Last time it was PJ that pulled her out of it...but she was alone.  KSL wasn't going to care enough about her to come rushing to her side...maybe ever.

Maybe that's why the panic attack happened in the first place.  Because she was alone.  She didn't have a person.

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