"I might be moving into planned demo mode. So like, how demo experts plan to destroy a condemned building with the least amount of collateral damage? Like that, but applied to my relationship" KSL messaged her. Then came the usual "Gonna take some time" etc that he always said. Later on in her studio he brought it up again.
His therapist had him make a "quadrant" of decisions. One was staying with his girlfriend positives and negatives, and the other was having or not having a child with her.
She felt an involuntary shutter within her, but kept it under the surface. A few days earlier she had read him the blog entry that said he would be a good father. She had seen his reaction when she read it, he was touched. She didn't realize that he had been so serious about having a child with her that it would be something he would talk about with his therapist. He left space open for her to insert her opinion while he was telling his story, but she didn't offer it.
She was thinking about her own situation, how she would most likely not have kids at this point. Even though according to WHMS "the clock doesn't really start ticking until you are 36" that was only a year away. Like she usually did, her overactive imagination created a reality where they raised a child together within an instant. She shook her head violently, as if to shake the image out. She had to stop getting so attached to people who didn't feel the same way about her.
He dealt in such extremes, it was strange for her. She couldn't wrap her head around it. The way she was having a hard time with his ability to just turn off his attraction to her. After the utter embarrassment of him pulling away from her last time, it wasn't something she was ever going to try again. It looked like the fire was officially put out between them. For now.
