Friday, September 30, 2016

The Emotional Trainwreck

Earlier in the week her sister had stopped by her apartment to give her some food and give her crap about not calling their mom to spend time together.

"The phone works both ways, she hasn't contacted me either."

"She's waiting for you, just have lunch with her or something."

She was already getting a headache just from the conversation.  Her mom always made her feel crappy about all her life choices, and she always felt like shit about herself no matter what.

That's exactly what happened.  She met her mom for breakfast at 10:30, and finally her mother said she should go home and get ready for her date around 3:00 PM.  The time was filled with asking her three times if a divorce was really what she wanted, if she was going to move to another state with Piz when he transferred for his job, and why she was staying in an apartment that was more than some people's mortgages.  It was relentless, it was awful, and she was emotionally drained by the time she was "allowed" to leave.

All she had to do was get dressed when she got a text from Piz asking if he could come up early.  He had said he wasn't feeling well, so he might not make the Improv show but still wanted to do dinner.

She quickly changed, and when she opened the door her face fell.  He looked really sick; she had given him her cold.  Damn her sex drive and thinking that it was allergies instead of the cold it really was.  He was hanging in like a champ, but clearly his sinuses were giving him trouble, and his eyes looked swollen. She asked him if he was really okay to do dinner, and he was determined. "I'll feel better after I eat" he reassured her.

"Okay, but I'm driving."  She said.  It was less than a mile away, but she didn't want to make him walk in his state.

The restaurant was too cold.  She put on the jacket she brought and he rolled down the sleeves on his button up.  He ordered the tomato soup to keep warm, and she ordered the chicken curry so he could try it.  They both had drinks, but he barely had half of his beer.  Knowing how much of a lush he could be, this worried her.  He seemed to be getting worse.

Lately they had been splitting things monetarily, but he paid for the whole meal.  It was a pricey one, and she made sure to thank him.  By the time they got back to her apartment, he was in really bad shape.  She made him sit on the couch while she got him lots of water and some DayQuil Cold and Flu medication.  He said he was cold, and she made him get into bed with her.  Under the covers, he shuddered.  She took his temperature, did the whole Florence Nightingale routine.  Upon his request, she crawled into her bed with him, and cradled his head to her chest.

Eventually his shaking subsided, and she could see that the pressure was finally being released from under his eyes.  "I should probably go." He said, attempting to sit up weakly.  He looked up at her, and said "Maybe another few minutes."

He started kissing her neck, but kept falling back into bed, exhausted.  It was nice to be lusted after that badly, but she felt horrible for getting him sick.

"You are so passionate.  Are you always like this?"  She asked him again.  He nodded.

"How did your ex ever say that you weren't passionate?  Did she grow up inside a romance novel?" She joked.

He got quiet, then said that it was something she said near the end, when they weren't getting along.  It was most likely something she said just to hurt him.

"Oh." She said, thinking about how sad it was that he was in a relationship where they got to the point of saying untrue things just to hurt one another.  Even at the worst part with KSL, it never got to the point where she said anything untrue to him.

He asked what she was thinking, and she told him.  "I understand a little more of where you are coming from now...in regards to us.  I know it's hard to believe me at this moment, but I've never been the untrue person type.  I might not be with people anymore, but that doesn't make them suddenly things they aren't.  My ex is still a good person.  KSL is still a good guy, at his core.  Your positives will always be your positives."

"I've been thinking a lot about what you told me about KSL...about how you felt like you were just a warm body to him.  You know that's not what this is, right?  What we are doing is nothing like that.  At all.  It upsets me so much that someone made you feel like that.  You are amazing.  You should never feel like that."

She wasn't sure how to respond, so she just kissed him.  For some reason, his words hadn't convinced her.  In fact, they had done the opposite of what they intended to do.  She felt a dread.  Then, apropos of nothing, he said that he did sometimes just lose interest and just leave people.  "Not to alarm you or anything."

"Could you drop me off at the Improv show on the way home?  I should still show them some support."  Really she just knew she couldn't be alone after this exchange they had.

When he dropped her off he kissed her, and said "So, when are we meeting up again?  Monday?"

"Let's play it by ear, you are still sick.  I want you to get well.  We will figure it out." She said.

She needed her distance, and knew by Monday he wouldn't be up for meeting.  She needed to buy some time to think.

No comments:

Post a Comment