"Haha...?"
"You've got to learn how to text with feeling. Let it out man."
"Just didn't know if there was a joke there or not"
"I fail at being funny. Good to know. Drunk Penny, no more self depreciating jokes for you!"
"Ah, so you *were* commenting on yourself?"
"My anthem=myself yes"
"Ah. What's up?"
"Nothing. You said to text when I got home. I made a bad joke. Here we are."
"Why are you using that song to describe yourself?"
"The Vodka made it sound like a good idea. It said 'hey bitch, that's you!' and I said 'you're right vodka!'"
"If you say so, haha"
"Sigh. Good night KSL."
"Christ, what did I fuck up now?"
"Nothing. Rest easy."
"Liar"
"We are totally fine. You are totally fine."
"Whatever you say. Or don't."
"Listen, our talk gave me a lot to think about. When I'm sober I'm going to feel inadequate. I'll get over it, but I'll still feel like that for awhile."
"Inadequate how???"
"Sexual experience wise"
"That wasn't my intent"
"I know! I'm beating myself up about it. It has nothing to do with you. It's not a comparison, just a fact."
"Why, though?"
"Why? Because it just is."
"'Sorry for the crazy shit' should be our motto or something."
"Haha"
"Anyway, I'm mad at myself and my life choices. No reflection on you. See you tomorrow."
9:23 AM: "Okay, non-vodka version of last night: I was feeling morose because it was hitting me that if I get a divorce my sexual experience is seriously lacking and it's likely I'll just end up alone/without a meaningful relationship. Then that song came on, like *confirming* it. when I get morose I make inappropriate jokes. Vodka made me think the joke was obvious."
"Ah. Well I understand that feeling, at least from the 'I'm screwed if I'm ever single again' angle. Sorry I put you in that spiral."
"I put myself in it. I was raised to assume that no one would be there for me, but sometimes that is still hard to accept."
"I see. Still, sorry"
"It's cool. Sorry I assumed you were inside my head."
"It's okay. Just don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."
"I feel like I can...then I feel like I say way too much."
"How so?"
"Again, upbringing. Both my parents were very hard of hearing, so it kind of led to me never really feeling like anyone wanted to listen to me. It's also why I'm not vocally very loud. Never saw the point."
"That can lead to some pretty socially damaging practices, yeah."
"Yeah. Just so you know when you ask me to repeat something and I say never mind, that I'm just thinking it was stupid to say in the first place."
"Don't do that."
"Tell you what. You stop being so self depreciating and I'll work on speaking up. Deal?"
"Ha. Fine. This outta be good."
