Ever since starting the birth control pills, she was on high alert about her mood. Of course, everything in her life had started to go downhill, so it was hard to say. Her work was rocky, it was on the verge of the owner selling the building and shutting down everything resulting in the loss of her job.
She missed Piz. She missed her ex. Hell, she even missed KSL a little...they were slowly deconstructing what happened and wondering why they sort of turned into a dumpster fire.
Goldie didn't think she could be friends with Piz, that it was going to slide back into the physical.
"Yes," she began to a friend, "I really like him and miss him and the sex and passion was great, but...I mean, I used to have self control. And we really do work as friends too. I don't know, maybe I'm fooling myself."
Her friend responded "If it feels good right now and gives you hope, then be foolish. No sense in dreaming up the worst scenario and experiencing failure in advance and calling it realism. Fuck that."
She needed to protect herself. Her ex, though he never meant to, used her. KSL used her, and most recently she had used him. Clearly they were not meant to be in a relationship. Piz was okay with being in a relationship where he didn't commit as much as he said he would. He didn't want her enough.
Yet she still had love for all of them. Why?
She was worth fighting for...she couldn't understand why no one was fighting.
Maybe she needed to stop taking the birth control pills. It's not like she needed them anymore.