Friday, August 18, 2017

You Can Go Home Again

She felt sad, then numb.  The divorce had gone through.  It was over.  It was just a piece of paper, but PJ was right, it felt different.

She went out to coffee with a friend after work, and they talked about everything they could talk about besides her divorce.  It was nice and refreshing, as they hadn't spent time together too much until that night.

She put on her headphones and started the walk home and decided to take a different path, through a road with very little streetlights and tons of trees.

It was calming and relaxing to walk through the closest thing she got to nature.  She realized about halfway home, that she was actually heading home.

That studio was actually where she lived.  This was the first time she had called it home in her mind and headed there.  She had the sudden realization that she was, blissfully, alone.  Her decisions were her own.  Her choices didn't change anyone else's reality anymore.  She was, albeit calmly, free.

She no longer felt like going on the dating sites.  She didn't feel that insane push to prove that she was worthy of being loved anymore.  The pressure melted away.  The judgment from everyone else faded.

She was finally home, in herself, for the first time in her life.

It was a nice feeling.