Friday, June 16, 2017

Thinly Veiled Symbolism

MG had talked at her all night, and she was tired.  Tired of her opinions about how her and KSL were exactly like her and her ex were.  She harped and harped on the fact that they were a dumpster fire just waiting to blow up.  Even though they hadn't had sex in 6 months.  MG drudged up all the emotions that she had so carefully put away.

She was distraught.

***

Her ex had done something terrible.  Naturally, since they were still married that also had gotten her in trouble.

 They needed to run.

She couldn't recall how, but they ended up splitting up in order to confuse the police, and she was stuck sleeping on the floor in someone's house she didn't recognize with a bunch of other friends.

"Okay everyone, make sure to keep her away from KSL!" BFF shouted loudly.  She felt her face turn scarlet. She grew even more embarrassed as everyone followed instructions and started to smoosh her down so that she just gave up and went to an opposite corner of the room.

But in the middle of the night, she got up and snuggled up to KSL.  She realized she did this just to spite everyone, and not because she had any romantic affection for him.  She just wanted to be defiant.

***
She woke from the dream with an icky feeling of her thinly veiled emotions.  Her dream had brought a lot to light.  Then she realized...she had a dream.  She had a fully formed, "working it out" dream.  She felt like she had dealt with her emotions in the dream, and she woke up feeling completely resolved from them.

She forgot she could do that.  She had gone so long without having a good night's sleep, having solid REM sleep.  She had completely forgotten that when other people drink, or smoke, as an outlet...she had dreamt to deal.

But she hadn't been able to do that in a long time.  She had forgotten that she was able to do it, it had honestly been that long.

She wondered how many questionable decisions she'd made without having that outlet.  Maybe she had been making horrible mistakes for years.

As she walked along the river to work, she couldn't even pretend to be angry or upset about it, because it had come back.  She was elated.  She had an emotion, dreamt her thinly veiled symbolic dream, and emerged with a greater understanding of herself.  She had found herself again.

She smiled at the rushing river, the people walking their adorable dogs, even the pesky religious folk that tried to talk to her every day.  The day was beautiful, she was on her own, and she was going to be okay.