It was Goldie's husband's birthday. She and MG had shared a ride to the location, and were enjoying themselves at the pre-gaming bar. Suddenly MG looked up and said "Oh...oh, your ex is here."
She felt bile raise in her throat, and she felt the panic start. What was he doing there? I guess they were his friends too, but she just felt like the rug was pulled out from under her.
MG moved over so that he could sit down next to her, the exact opposite of what she wanted in the situation. She ended up giving the wine she didn't like to him, and some of her avocado egg roll. She suddenly had no desire to eat, drink, or be merry. He puppy-dogged her the entire way to the arcade, the next location. She pulled MG into the bathroom as they got there.
"I can't do this MG. I'm so sorry, and I'm sure that Goldie will drive you home if you want to stay. I can't do it, I can't be around him when he's constantly my shadow like this. I need to leave."
MG talked her into staying for 15 minutes and trying to power through it. As more people arrive, she started to panic more, as if she wasn't going to make it through. She gave a look to MG, who said they had to go and she was unable to answer or meet the eyes of Goldie. She felt ashamed for letting this situation get to her, but she had to get out.
They barely made it to the car before her first tear fell. She slowly leaked tears all the way home, not being able to figure out exactly why she got so upset, why she felt she had to leave so badly. He just made her feel uncomfortable in crowds, as he continued to act like they were a couple...moreso than when they were actually a couple. Her leaving had somehow activated how much he loved her, whereas it had only strengthened for her the fact that she no longer loved him. She felt aggravated by his attention. She also felt guilty that she left a birthday party for selfish reasons. She should have gotten herself together.
Later Goldie messaged and called her. She was with KSL and didn't answer. When she called back, they both apologized to each other and all was well. She still felt guilty and promised that she would hold it together regardless.
Her test came the very next day, when there was a festival that Goldie was judging, and the ex happened to be there with Goldie's husband. She spent time with them until she had to leave to meet someone for coffee.
She had hung on, and she knew that it wouldn't happen that way again.
She also knew she was running away from what needed to happen. There needed to be an announcement, or a legal split soon. For now, she just wanted to keep running.
