Friday, November 27, 2015

My Favorite Mistake

Before Catfishing was a real thing, she lied about her age on the internet.  She rationalized that she was taking college courses despite being a junior in high school, so she was really just stretching the truth when she said she was in college.  She WAS in college, just...part time and semi-illegally.

He was her constant, her best friend.  She eventually came clean with him, and he was forgiving.  She hadn't lied about anything else, and neither had he.  They met in person years later, him doing the cool guy lean against a parking meter on the Haight, her chiding him immediately for hiding his face when meeting someone from the internet.  There shared everything with each other, not only that light but for years afterward.  He never judged her or pushed her to be something she wasn't.  He was the only one in her life that accepted her exactly as she was.  Was it because he didn't have to see her everyday?  Maybe.

Her good friend said that he had a crush on her in college.  She didn't believe he did, because he never made a move or brought it up in conversation.  When you had the computer to buffer, you say all kinds of things that you wouldn't be able to in person.  But it put it into her head, and she was worried.  She didn't want to ruin the relationship.  He was her Yes Man.  He validated her choices in a way no one else ever did.

Then, years ago, he decided to drop off the face of the earth.  He got married and didn't tell her about it until afterwards.  No one knew what he was up to anymore, but she missed him, now more than ever.  She was doubting herself in ways that she never had.  She needed her friend back.

It entered her mind that not pursuing a relationship with him might have been a mistake.  She imaged how her life would have been with him.  He was never going to make big money, but he would have made her a priority and made sure she was taken care of.  He would have made sure that she felt loved everyday, telling her that even when they were apart they were under the same moon.  She would have lived in the bay area like she always wanted, stayed close to home.  Maybe he was her favorite mistake.

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