"Are you nervous?" Her boss asked her.
"Not really...I tend to interview pretty well. I feel confident."
"You do interview really well. You've got this, I'm proud of you for getting it!"
Really it wasn't her doing at all. The producer of the play she was stage managing mentioned this job to her, and she sent in her resume right away, expecting to hear nothing back. She got a phone call and an interview in less than 72 hours.
Her ex was also up for the job, and had told her that he "talked her up" while he was there. She told him that wasn't very smart, he needed to fight for the job himself.
She was in the car on the way to the interview. Things had been tense at work today and she was trying to put it out of her head. Then her phone went off.
"The university just let me know that they have reviewed my program info and officially approved my graduation. Confirmed might be more accurate."
There it was. The reminder that she was, in fact, ineffectual. She couldn't do this job. She couldn't even get her own husband to care about his own damn life.
In a panic, she knew she needed someone to give her a self confidence boost. Someone from whom it would matter.
"Ugh, because OF COURSE right before he knows I have an important interview he texts me reminding me of something he accomplished without me, making me feel ineffectual, the worst way to go into an interview. Fuck him. Now I'm going to fuck this up."
"You won't fuck it up. He has no power over you. You are a fucking badass and are gonna crush it." KSL texted back a minute later.
She went in, and she was charming. She was nice to the people that she met, remembered little details of things that people appreciated. But she knew that she could have been more, and she not been shaken.
"Breathe. You're alive." KSL texted.
"I know. Thank you for the words of affirmation. Much appreciated. Fuck, just the damn timing on that. I was fearless before that moment. I knew I had it."
"And you still have it."
She wasn't so sure anymore.
