"What are we doing?" seemed to suddenly be a reoccurring theme in her love life. She had asked it in her marriage, when she started with KSL, with Piz, and again now with KSL.
KSL. She'd now had sex with him just as many times inside of their agreement as outside of it. I guess it sort of made them even. They had both initiated it an equal number of times.
Maybe that made it time to stop. Or at least made it so they went in a different direction.
He had been liking her Instagram posts, but hadn't made contact with her since the text that he got home okay. She had un-followed him on Facebook and blocked him from popping up on her messenger sidebar. Again. She just didn't want to be the first one to reach out, or get clingy, or anything like that.
She felt they had reached a turning point, but she was unsure what that turning point was. She hadn't quite made up her mind. They had gotten closer, and it was feeling more romantic than ever.
And yet...she knew it wasn't how it would be if he actually had romantic feelings for her. They had the best time when they were together, and she obviously liked him more than just friends.
Did she want a relationship with him? Did she want to just cut ties and run? Was it just because of the new year that she felt she had to make a decision one way or the other?
"As you know my advice would be just to try to find a way to enjoy it and not expect more out of it, but I know with your past feelings that's not easy. So you do you girl!" Goldie texted her.
Could she just be okay with mindlessly having sex with him and letting it continue to skirt the edges of a relationship? Could he?
She flashed back to the last few months, them hanging out, him telling her about flirtations he's had with girls, her telling him she didn't care because they weren't in a relationship. He would always say that he knew that, but he wanted to let her know.
Was it because he knew about how much she hated lies from him, so he was just revealing everything? Was it because he wanted more of a relationship and knew that couldn't happen with her without some hardcore trust? Maybe it was only because she had threatened to burn their friendship to the ground and invite all their mutual friends to roast marshmallows by it. Either way, it showed that he had changed...for her. She couldn't discount that from her overthinking.
Why did he keep coming back to her? He literally couldn't go more than 72 hours without texting her to check in. She thought back to when he said he was going to "slut spiral." Granted he had sex with two other girls last year that both meant nothing also, but that wasn't exactly a spiral.
He also kept bringing up how he was going to end up alone forever, couldn't be in a relationship, blah blah blah. He kept hammering that point home with her, over and over. Almost if he wanted to ask her. Or, more like he wanted her to ask him.
She had no idea what to do, just knew that something must be done.
