Monday, December 5, 2016

Driven by Selfish Guilt

"What are you doing this weekend?  Tomorrow?" her ex asked her.  A feeling of dread overcame her.  Why would he want to keep hanging with her?

"Umm, tomorrow I have yoga and then I'm hanging with Dawn.  Sunday I have something I think, I'll have to look."  She made her escape as KSL was waiting in the car.

Later, when she had time to think about it, she panicked.  She had to fill her weekend so that she didn't have to spend time with him.

"Having a crisis of conscience.  I just talked to my friend Mo and he said I'm being stupid about trying to get out of time with the ex, that I don't owe him anything and I've spent enough time with him.  I can't bring myself to tell the ex that.  I don't know what to do.  Advise?  Opinion?" She texted KSL later that night.

"I mean, he's not wrong." He responded.

"I know, that's why it's hard." She texted.

"Wah wah" He snarked back.

"That's not helping."

"Sorry.  But seriously though, you don't owe him anything."

"I know, I just don't want to hurt him.  It's breaking my heart seeing him hurt by me, that's why I don't want to see him.  The guilt.  Which is selfish of me."

"Welcome to my life.  Driven by selfish guilt."

"I do NOT want your life."

She posed the same question to Dawn.  Her response was "You definitely don't owe him time.  You just saw him yesterday and went in a disastrous road trip last weekend.  Having forced time time apart will help him detach from you."

That was an angle she could get behind.

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