Saturday, February 13, 2016

50 Shades of Blushing

"You broke his heart when you got married."

"Like because he's a drama queen or because he was really in love with me?"

"Both, most likely."

"Why didn't he ever say anything to me?"

"Because X was into you."

She didn't even remember meeting X until after she was married.  Her idea of what had happened between age 17 to now was completely skewed.  She needed to re-think her entire adult life.  Favorite Mistake she had an idea on, but she had no clue that she broke his heart.  Why didn't he ever say anything to her?  She knew he and X were good friends, but she didn't really talk to X, and the last time they really hung out together he ended up sleeping with her then best friend.  Not that it was a problem, the best friend would sleep with anyone, and she had no idea that there was ever an attraction between them.

Since she was sworn to secrecy on the heart breaking, she messaged X.  She said that she heard about an event happening at his job that made her think of him.  They got to talking, and she noticed he did flirt a was the same back and forth they always did with each other, only now it was colored by what she knew.  Had she been flirting with him this entire time and not known it?  Was that even possible?  How many times had she done that?  She never felt attractive enough to have that kind of power.  The quote "You know not what you do" from Julius Caesar kept repeating in her mind.  

Then in an unforeseen turn of events, X told her a story...that basically ended with him sending her photos of him in makeup and telling her about his wearing make up and having sex.  The story had started with her being Julia Roberts and ended up with being more like Rachel Dratch.

Hilarity aside, it looks like he was a mutual favorite mistake.

"I really miss you.  Please text me?" was sent to Favorite Mistake after a sleuthy friend found his work email through Linkedin.  It took her three hours to decide on those specific words, and she panicked long after sending it.  Days later, she hadn't heard anything.

PJ called her and they talked about the situation (and more) for 3 hours.  PJ knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling, and had a great attitude he passed along.  "No matter what, if you hear from him or don't, it's not a rejection.  If he doesn't reach out, it's only because his wife is crazy and made him cut off all contact with you and he can't.  After all that you've been through together, he has feelings and will always have feelings.  You will always have that."

There were so many other feelings...was she careless with his heart, even though she had no idea of his feelings.  Was she putting him in a bad position by contacting him at all?

Don't you tell me to deny it...

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