Wednesday, April 5, 2017


"I want to.  I'm just unsure of my abilities."  KSL had been deemed the one to be the host of his friend's wake.

"You can do it.  And you can do it well.  It's a wake not a funeral."

"Yeah.  Alcohol will help."

"However it shakes out, he would've loved it.  And in the end that's what matters.  And if you want to get totally trashed I'll be your DD."


She asked when it would be, and he didn't answer her until the next day.  She had work that Sunday, but said she would ask if she could be late.

She went to work and asked, and they were very nice about telling her that she could be late.

"They said I could show up at 5 so I'm good."

"Uhm, I don't even know if you would be on the guest list.  You didn't know him."

Her face went red with embarrassment.  She didn't know how a wake worked, she assumed it was whomever wanted to show up.  If it was invite only, of course she didn't expect to be on the guest list.  Why did he let it go on this long without telling her that?

"I thought it was an open thing and I was coming to support you and drive you home.  If I'm not invited then I guess never mind."

"Well I don't really know what it is.  I'm not the organizer.  But I've been told to limit the invitees to those that knew or worked with him in some capacity.  I wasn't trying to be rude.  Just giving you a head's up."

"I know, my mistake.  I'll tell work never mind."

"I'm sorry, I feel like a dick or something.  Your support is super appreciated."

"Don't feel like a dick, I misunderstood.  You're not wrong, I didn't know him and if it's an invite only thing I don't expect to be invited.  I was just trying to be there for you and clearly overstepped."

"You didn't overstep.  I appreciate your concern and support.  Please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad dude.  A little embarrassed but not mad."

The truth was she was beyond embarrassed.  She was mortified she had made that mistake.  After this and the Pilot standing her up, she was beginning to feel like she just left her heart out to be stepped on every time she put herself out there.

And she wasn't sure how to fix it.

When she told MG about it, she wasn't nice.  "You were a pretty big cunt about it.  You and KSL are basically just in a toxic relationship.  You are a shit show, you are what I was a couple of years ago.  You need to just not speak to him for 3 months to get him out of your system."

MG was quitting smoking so she tried to take it with a grain of salt, but it was really difficult.  She felt even more stepped on and exposed than before.

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