Wednesday, December 26, 2018

Mental Health-Weak

Since she had missed out on what seemed like a lifetime of Self Care Sundays, she was really looking forward to having the entire week of the holiday off.

Her ex had been asking her to go to a movie with her, and to go look at the Christmas lights around her old neighborhood.  Even though she'd already seen the movie with KSL, she saw it again with him.  It was nice, but for some reason it was getting hard to spend time with him again.  She put off, then reluctantly agreed to go see lights with him.

After a full day of socializing that she didn't want to do, he texted that he was starving and convinced her to go to eat even though she was emotionally not feeling well so therefore wasn't hungry.  She tried to keep up conversation with him while he ate, but very soon an old injury of his had flared up and he was clearly uncomfortable.

Searching for a topic of conversation, she told him she'd been to the doctor because her periods were so bad and they decided to put in an IUD.

"Well that will help with all the free-wheeling I bet, huh?" He responded cruelly.

"No...I literally just told you why I was doing it.  I don't want to be in pain anymore."  She was taken aback as normally he wasn't this mean.

"Well, no, that's true, you still have to worry about STDs."

She shook her head as if to get the conversation stricken from her brain.  She suspected that somehow he'd found out about her and Mel seeing each other.  Which made her laugh since she had never ended up having sex with Mel, unless he wanted to count a night of Mel not being able to get it up with a condom and her eventually getting tired of trying and going to the other bed and going to sleep.

Her ex said it with such venom that someone must have said something, or he was just in a bad head space from his injury.  Ex then brought up he got a late night phone call from a mutual acquaintance that had been after him since before they were married.  "Please, anyone but her for your rebound" she told him, then regretted saying it as she just felt like she was "getting back at him" for his comments on her IUD.

They tried to go around and look at lights for a bit, but she eventually just drove him back home and said goodbye.  He was about to go into a really hectic work month so she didn't have to worry about seeing him for awhile.

She felt the day weigh on her and her depression deepened.  She wished she was done for the evening, but sadly it had just begun.

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