Friday, March 23, 2018

The Search Begins

She was going to have a talk with KSL about a potential roommate situation later.  Until she could meet with him, she went into overdrive looking for one-bedrooms.

Goldie and SD kept sending her links to units in their building.  They were all more money than she was paying, and when she went to see them...they looked their age.  It was a 50 year old building and it was fast becoming apparent that her unit was the most updated.  She secretly thanked her lucky stars that she'd found the only hardwood floor-Ikea-ed out kitchen in the entire building with a dishwasher.

She had let in three different potential investors and given them the grand 20 second tour.  A couple of them had hinted that they might buy the place and let her stay, but she needed to be prepared and couldn't rely on empty promises.

Mel was trying to get her to move into a piece of shit place by herself, tried to convince her that she didn't need things that she found to be essential.  Maybe he was just too young to realize that when you get to be a certain age, you don't have to compromise anymore...at least not about the things that really matter to you.  Mel managed to pressure her with all this while at the same time almost completely disappearing from her life.  Being as they shared the acts of service and quality time love languages, she took this as a complete abandonment and let her heart drift out to sea.

Dishwashers mattered to her.  A washer and dryer in unit would be nice, but she could potentially live without it.  It had to be under a certain amount of money or she wouldn't be able to eat.  She didn't want to live out in the sticks and have a million hour commute.  She could save a bunch of money if she had a roommate.

Her mind screamed no, that it was quite possibly the worst idea in the history of ideas that she become roommates with KSL.  They would kill each other.  It would be volatile, an emotional minefield of awful.

She started writing down concerns, questions about the apartment.  Her mind kept going and she started a new page.  She re-wrote.  Then she heard a few voices in her head of people who had told her she was negative, a defeatist.  She started a new page of positives about having a roommate, having her as a roommate.  She figured that he would know what his good qualities of being a roommate would be.

She was ready to have the talk.  There were a few things on her list that she knew if he didn't agree to, that it couldn't work.  She at least felt more calm now that all her options had been laid out in front of her.

The crying had finally subsided.

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