"The week didn't give you bedbugs!"
"But between the new job, house/dog sitting, and now trying to find a new place and get rid of the old...I'm fucking pooped."
"You have a perfect boyfriend to help you move, a temp place to live that doesn't have bedbugs, and a better paying job to pay for it all."
*Hours of silence*
"Have you thought about what you are going to do for his birthday? It's pretty close."
"Bitch I was LITERALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT!!!"
"Is that the week he will be out of town?"
"Yes. I think so."
"Boo. Then we have to do something sooner! Well, you do anyway. I'm not fucking him, dude is just getting a card from me."
"I've only fucked him once Penny!"
"Well that is one more time than I'm gonna do it! One fuck=party planning person. Sorry sister."
I've made you feel better, now make yourself feel better. I'm done. I can't make you happy with my ideal life. Minus the bedbugs.
*Hours of silence*
"I forgot to write you back!"
"What should I do? Idk who all his friends are!"
"I mean...maybe we can all just go to the bar or something? Ugh! Idk!! What do people do?!"
"Well, he's an introvert, he might just want to spend the night with you. You should ask him."
"Well we are going on a breakfast date the Sunday after we close to celebrate his birthday and to officially go on a date lol I'll ask what his dreams of 39 look like."
"He'll appreciate you being straight forward. Just ask him if he wants a party, a get together at a bar, or alone time."
Being in a relationship you aren't even a part of is exasperating.
