"If I could re-do any part of my life...like if I died and I could come back and re-do any decade of my life, I would re-do my 20's." KSL said.
"I wouldn't re-do anything. I'd just be glad it was finally all over." She replied.
She had come to terms that now she was 100% alone. She took comfort in the fact that Nameless had wanted to meet up with her, and was really sweet and comforting about the end. In fact, it was almost a relief that it ended this way.
Because in the end it all just seemed not real. 3 years of dates. Flirtations. Kisses. Sleepovers. And sex.
And so much time alone in-between. Almost so much time that she forgot about him, about their connection. Whenever he came around again he was always sweet, always "making up" the time they spent apart. Their sense of humor gelled. He could make fun of her and it never made her feel bad. Their Love Languages were similar, so their time together, however short, was always meaningful.
She thought of their harmless conversations about her coming up to Portland with him for a weekend, or how if she was making 3 figures how he'd quit his job and be her "house husband." Lots of fun talk for something that was never meant to be.
Maybe if they'd spent more time together it wouldn't have worked out. His need to keep the bedroom cold would have gotten to her, they'd become short with one another during talking. But they never really would.
It had been a perfect casual relationship because there had been time and space to romanticize it. In the end, it was the idea of something that had been perfect.
Reading about romance, writing about romance, was so wonderful. So heart-warming. To imagine someone being there and loving her and thinking she was wonderful.
Imagining kept her safe, so she preferred it.
