She had enough time to mentally prepare herself for this trip, so it started in the best of spirits. Having an extended period with Goldie was going to be fun. She was going to a different part of the country than she'd ever been before, and was really looking forward to the new experience of being at a film festival.
Goldie said this was the "chilliest" off all the festivals, something that was right up her alley. The conversation never stopped and it was never awkward between them.
"If you hook up with anyone do it in their room" Goldie said, dead serious. She laughed hard and reminded her that being a demisexual sort of exuded her from the "random fuck at the film festival" crowd.
She was there representing Goldie and her art, so she was on her best behavior. She didn't talk much, she made sure when she did it was nice or funny, or harmless. She made sure she was always listening, always engaged and responding with her eyes to the things people were saying.
"You are catching the LOOKS at this festival. What the hell was that? All the guys were checking out your boobs." Goldie commented after they went back to the room from the welcome party.
Even with her lack of self-awareness when it came to other people and what they thought of her she noticed it. Some kid in college had chatted her up before a few members of the band had engaged them in conversation.
"Maybe they are just noticing my energy. I'm trying to be nice to everyone and seem approachable so that I don't make you look unfavorable."
"Nah, something else is going on," Goldie brought up later on in the weekend. "They are checking out your boobs but you are like, flirty and mysterious or something to them!"
A flash, of a life a very very long time ago. She used to be a big flirt, before the marriage had stopped her out of respect to her husband. Then, after she realized that she had KSL had been doing it, it had been put into her mind as something "bad" that she shouldn't be doing, and she'd compartmentalized that part of herself.
It was easy to be likable when someone realized they were actually being listened to.
The rest of the trip was full of sensory overload activities, A and B list celebs, and a lot of excellent conversations. She had a blast but was emotionally spent by the time they got back to the airport.
Her mind kept going back to her "flirty" side for weeks, the rusty one that she hadn't used in awhile. Was there a point in bringing her back to the surface?
