Monday, June 11, 2018

Solicitation

"In al-anon, which is really control freaks anonymous, there's a rule:  Suggest something one time and you're being helpful, suggest something two times and you're being controlling; suggest something three times and you're being manipulative."  IL texted to her.  It stopped her in her tracks.

She and KSL had been at odds.  They both had a hard time accepting help, but wanted to give it to others.  She had tearfully exclaimed that "I don't know what you want from me!" One night after having words with each other.  They had both not been in a great mental place, and tensions had just been high after he had lost his car.

IL had given her so much perspective on how all she wanted to do was be helpful, but it was turning into a problem.  She was constantly explaining how she was trying her best not to give a fuck.

It was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do.  She felt like she was being torn apart, not being true to who she was.

"Just remember," her sister said to her, "other people's happiness or comfort isn't your responsibility.  I'm still learning this one a bit."

She felt like she would be learning it her whole life.  Her #1 love language was Acts of Service.  She felt like she was no longer allowed to love anyone.  She was beginning to wonder if love even really existed.

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