Not Quite Right

 She couldn't figure out why she felt so uneasy.  This should be exciting.

She wracked her brain for the reason why she didn't feel right.  Maybe it was that they hadn't been communicating much since April. Even though that was the most fun she's had with him, maybe it was just that it might not get better.  Or maybe it's because it was 10:45 at night and he hadn't texted her yet.

He'd gone out for drinks with his colleagues and some students and it had ran later than he thought it would.  He invited her to just come directly up to his room.  It made her feel cheap, but she had gotten all dressed up and then starred up at the ceiling for the last hour.  It should be worth something right?

His hotel didn't have a parking garage, so she walked from another garage at night.  He came down and peaked his head out of the elevator to let her up.  He let go too early and the elevator door crashed into her arm as she tried to enter.  "I should've stayed home." She said.  He insisted he tried to keep it open.

The room was big and had a great view of downtown.  "I can see my car from here!" She joked.  He poured her a whiskey that was so strong she had to close her eyes to drink.  They chatted on the chairs for a bit, and she went over to pour him a whisky.  She didn't want one for herself since it seemed his AC was broken and she was already a bit overheated.  He said it had been that way his whole trip but he didn't have time to go down and complain.  He liked it colder than she did, so she was a bit surprised.

She took the opportunity to show him the top she'd bought for the occasion that looked a bit like ropes.  It was something he'd mentioned previously, and he commented how bold she was to be wearing it just over a wrap and pants.  At some point she went over and laid down on the bed and he chastised her for going over to "his bed" "without permission."

After a bit of fooling around he got up and went over to his luggage and they both lost the rest of their clothes.  She was stretching on the bed with her back to him, and suddenly he was behind her.  It was forceful and unlike how it usually was between them.  It hurt, but he had her pinned to the bed in a way that she could barely speak.

About 3/4's of the way through, he jumped up and said "shit" and walked over to his luggage.  She asked what was wrong, and he said he had seen her with her ass up on the bed and just went over and forgot the condom.

Her heart felt like it took on an underwear quality, and she felt a lump in her throat.  She'd never had unprotected sex before, and she thought he was over at his luggage getting the condom and just trusted it.

As she snapped back to reality she realized he was fumbling with the condom so they could continue, and she asked what the point was.  He reacted poorly, and they went back and forth for a bit before she suddenly realized what was different.

"How drunk are you right now?" She asked him.

"I'm pretty drunk.  I probably shouldn't have had that last whisky."

He was drunk.  He forgot the condom.

And 3 weeks later when she got her STI test results back, negative, she wondered if she'd be able to forgive him.

The New(est) Place

 "Everything is so set up, it looks great!" most her friends echoed.  

She thought back to a year ago where she'd promised herself that her next move would be her last.  This was her second move since then, and the feeling a failure weighed heavy upon her.

She tried to rally herself.  These moves had not been her fault, even back to the studio.  It had been sold, and had nothing to do from here.  She had to get out from KSL before they killed each other.  Then the market had not crashed or done anything except go up.

Looking around her new apartment, she had put everything up fairly quickly.  She just wanted to desperately to feel like she had a home.  Her mother was getting worse by the day and soon wouldn't remember her.  She felt like an orphan.

Her new apartment looked wonderful.  But it was too much space for one person, and there would only ever be one person here.

There's No Place Called Home

 "I just can't justify the cost of a mini-split." Her landlord texted her.

They had agreed on him installing AC by Summer.  It was the only reason she'd signed the lease and moved in was based on that promise.

She knew not getting it in writing would be her downfall.  

Not that she really wanted to stay here.  Her 1926 divorcée stone cottage was adorable.  A little "shotgun" style house with a creepy murder basement and very narrow stairs that shifted under anyone's weight.  Everyone was scared to go down, but compelled to due to curiosity.

Aesthetically, it was almost perfect with it's archways and faux crystal door handles.

But as she would find in the coming months, there was a complete lack of care on the landlord's part, both in practice and in attitude. He told her to "let the water run for a little bit" in order to get the dirt out.  She used her brita filter for even her ice cubes.  She never felt clean after a shower.

The wiring was so bad the electrician said he should probably call it in.  If it wasn't a stone cottage it would go up like a match.

The toilet backed up every third flush, even if you weren't flushing anything.

There wasn't a single bit of tile flooring that didn't have a crack in it, and the dirt got tracked in like crazy.

There was no reason except that it was "cute" to stay.

About a month after he told her he wasn't installing AC, she was settled into an apartment, just down the street from the one she and KSL shared.

Time to start again.

Whisky on the Ropes

"How long has it been?" Nameless asked, interrupting himself mid-conversation.

"Since we've seen each other?  About a year." She replied.

"Damn." He took a sip of his whisky.

They were at his bar hotel, a better bar with better whisky for him.  It was the hotel where her ex worked, so she had decided to sit with her back facing the entrance and pretend to be a different person. 

They caught each other up on the past year.  She told him about how she'd moved in with a friend for a bit and was now at the cottage that she'd have to leave soon due to the no AC and the landlord who promised to install it and then reneged.  She told him about a potential job opportunity at the University she had applied for.  He was struggling with a career decision.  He could continue doing the work he was doing until it ran out, or he could move to DC and start lobbying for the work to be done.  He didn't want to move to DC but was having a hard time seeing much of an alternative.

She tried to order a drink that he made fun of.  She chided him and told him to just order for her, since she was so bad at it.  "You are, you are a terrible order-er.  Great drinker though."

They called it after her second round, his fourth.  He signed the receipt, thanking the government for the gracious per diem he got for the day.  He said "Let's get back to the room" as if she'd been to the room before, as if they'd come together.

They got a bit lost looking for the room, as it was in a tower that was tricky to get to.  They had to go up and then down several different elevators to get there, and they were both too buzzed to get there with any sort of urgency. 

Finally they reached the tiny room, used the bathroom as was their custom.  The kisses, as always, were wonderful.  After some clothes came off he shared "I have a surprise for you." 

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrow.

As it turned out, he listened more than she ever thought he would.  She had been engaged in a spicy text conversation with him a few months prior where he had said that she seemed like the type who would enjoy whipping someone, and she said she might but she had wanted to be tied up first.

He had brought rope.  Not just rope, but some of the softest rope she'd ever felt.  When he was done he told her she looked good all tied up.  It made her blush and he laughed at how easy she was to compliment.

The sex was pretty great, in fact it wore her out and energized her all at the same time.  He was worn out and took a shower as soon as the sex was over.  She gave him a hard time about it, saying that aftercare should be a thing, even if he wasn't into cuddling.  He didn't want to and put up a bit of a fight, but eventually laid on the bed and spooned her for a bit.  She turned around when he stated it had been more than 5 minutes he promised, and buried her face in his chest.  He let her stay there another 5 minutes before asking if she was going to stay the night.

"You're too cranky in the morning.  If you are going to leave me and move to DC I want to remember you like this." She said.

She got up to get dressed and go to the bathroom.  When she got out he was fast asleep.  She took a long look at him, wondering if this was the last time.

Then, just like last time, she went over to kiss him on the forehead, but not enough to wake him.  She hit the lights on the way out.

When she was settling into bed she got a text from him.

"I passed out while you were in the bathroom.  Sorry.  Did you make it home safe?"

"For a casual encounter once a year, he sure was nice about everything" she thought.

A few days later, she was offered the University gig.  It was the greatest week she'd had in awhile.