"I wasn't lost in space, I was lost in time. All the times I'd travel that same path, or a similar one. I lost touch with time and that's why I needed an anchor."
All she had to say to PJ was this, and he understood, got why she left early when she was high for the first time. Now that she'd gotten high a couple of times by herself she was able to piece it together.
"That's what I love the most about it. The things that I don't want to do; work, social obligations...they can take as long as they need to. But being home, being with AB and the dogs...I want that to last longer, which is why I puff. To make those moments last longer."
She smiled. "That's what I hate most about it. I got lost going home, it was all taking too long. I don't want anything to take that long."
She was finding her way, however. Sometimes it was the way that it changed everything else that brought the allure of getting high. One day she went to get the signature drink with KSL and they took it home. She offered him an edible, and they sat on the couch and watched a movie. She didn't feel the usual pressure to "enjoy" the movie the way he usually wanted her to, checking on her reactions out of the corner of his eye. He might have still been doing it, but she no longer cared. It was easier, nicer to deal with him when they were both high.
There were still certain things that she didn't feel the need to "extend" her time on and didn't end up eating edibles regularly, but they had their place.
Showing posts with label Cannivore. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cannivore. Show all posts
Friday, November 9, 2018
Wednesday, October 24, 2018
Go Ask Alice?
"Okay, so the bathroom is down the hall. There's a spare bedroom if you need it, don't feel like you will need to go home tonight, you are welcome for as long as you want to stay. Always, not just tonight."
She smiled at PJ. He had been wanting this evening since the moment that they met and he found out that she'd never gotten high. She thought back to that night where she'd gotten a contact high from him and told him to calm down about the $20 they were charging him at the drive through. He thought she was going to love it, maybe almost too much. Like he did.
He was making a pizza, had 4 different kinds of snacks, and for dessert he had bought them all ice cream sandwiches, and regular ice cream. If she got the munchies...well she was more than covered.
He showed her how to work the couch recliner, and they had an edible and he "puffed" a little as well in the garage. They went back in the house and talked about life, what had been going on, the experiences she'd had being a roommate now. It seemed like everything she said or did got blown up on an epic scale and turned against her, twisted into a totally different meaning until she ended up apologizing for something that had made her upset in the first place. It was like extreme gaslighting, and she was getting tired of it.
An hour passed and she stated she didn't really feel any different. PJ had advised her to just shout out what she was feeling as it happened and enjoy the experience.
"Well," she said, "Everyone has their stories about how they did too much the first time, lets just try another one."
PJ again offered up their spare bedroom in case she felt like she couldn't move later, and another trip to the garage and they were back in the house. 10 minutes after that she said she felt heavy, like a whoosh of base suddenly happened in an empty movie theater.
"It's like that moment where you just realized you had one drink too many, and you should stop." She vaguely remembered going out to the garage a second time, but refusing to have any more.
She pulled out the couch recliner and laid in it, and PJ turned on some comedian sketch show on Netflix and they watched a few episodes. She got really tired and faded in and out, napping through most of the show. AB left the room after one creeped her out, but returned soon after. AB and PJ went to the garage to puff more, and it felt like they were gone forever. She became uncomfortable and stood up, and felt like she was just tired. It was time to go home.
Once they came back inside she said her goodbyes, saying she was just tired but thank you for hosting her. PJ made her come out to the garage one last time and wrapped up 3 edibles to take home with her to try on her own.
She got into her car and decided to not take the freeway home, figuring it would be easier in her tired state.
Each light took forever to change, and she got more and more anxious to be in her own space, in her own room. She was going the speed limit, but it felt so incredibly slow. She started to forget where she was in her journey in-between stoplights. Soon, she was lost in-between them, in the dark. The dark stretched on forever and she became overwhelmed with all the streetlights out and only seeing into the dark. She was never going to make it home, and started to panic, tears streaming down her face. She cried in-between three stop lights, but finally made it home.
She'd left her water bottle at AB and PJ's house by accident, so she was incredibly thirsty. KSL had dishes in both sides of the sink so she couldn't get to the filter to get water. She painstakingly emptied the dishwasher, being careful so she didn't break a dish in her state, and finally got her glass filled. KSL commented that it took her a full 45 minutes to unload that dishwasher, and she shot him a dirty look and replied that she wouldn't have had to if SOMEONE hadn't had the sink full. She then proceeded to sit in a chair across the room, and KSL said "You don't have to sit over there. You can come sit on the couch."
She couldn't do it. She couldn't handle the mind games while high, she couldn't take the guilt of where she even sat in her own apartment. "Look," KSL said kindly, "I know you are high for the first time and I just want you to be comfortable, sit wherever you want."
She stood up, and without breaking eye contact walked past him into her room and shut the door.
She smiled at PJ. He had been wanting this evening since the moment that they met and he found out that she'd never gotten high. She thought back to that night where she'd gotten a contact high from him and told him to calm down about the $20 they were charging him at the drive through. He thought she was going to love it, maybe almost too much. Like he did.
He was making a pizza, had 4 different kinds of snacks, and for dessert he had bought them all ice cream sandwiches, and regular ice cream. If she got the munchies...well she was more than covered.
He showed her how to work the couch recliner, and they had an edible and he "puffed" a little as well in the garage. They went back in the house and talked about life, what had been going on, the experiences she'd had being a roommate now. It seemed like everything she said or did got blown up on an epic scale and turned against her, twisted into a totally different meaning until she ended up apologizing for something that had made her upset in the first place. It was like extreme gaslighting, and she was getting tired of it.
An hour passed and she stated she didn't really feel any different. PJ had advised her to just shout out what she was feeling as it happened and enjoy the experience.
"Well," she said, "Everyone has their stories about how they did too much the first time, lets just try another one."
PJ again offered up their spare bedroom in case she felt like she couldn't move later, and another trip to the garage and they were back in the house. 10 minutes after that she said she felt heavy, like a whoosh of base suddenly happened in an empty movie theater.
"It's like that moment where you just realized you had one drink too many, and you should stop." She vaguely remembered going out to the garage a second time, but refusing to have any more.
She pulled out the couch recliner and laid in it, and PJ turned on some comedian sketch show on Netflix and they watched a few episodes. She got really tired and faded in and out, napping through most of the show. AB left the room after one creeped her out, but returned soon after. AB and PJ went to the garage to puff more, and it felt like they were gone forever. She became uncomfortable and stood up, and felt like she was just tired. It was time to go home.
Once they came back inside she said her goodbyes, saying she was just tired but thank you for hosting her. PJ made her come out to the garage one last time and wrapped up 3 edibles to take home with her to try on her own.
She got into her car and decided to not take the freeway home, figuring it would be easier in her tired state.
Each light took forever to change, and she got more and more anxious to be in her own space, in her own room. She was going the speed limit, but it felt so incredibly slow. She started to forget where she was in her journey in-between stoplights. Soon, she was lost in-between them, in the dark. The dark stretched on forever and she became overwhelmed with all the streetlights out and only seeing into the dark. She was never going to make it home, and started to panic, tears streaming down her face. She cried in-between three stop lights, but finally made it home.
She'd left her water bottle at AB and PJ's house by accident, so she was incredibly thirsty. KSL had dishes in both sides of the sink so she couldn't get to the filter to get water. She painstakingly emptied the dishwasher, being careful so she didn't break a dish in her state, and finally got her glass filled. KSL commented that it took her a full 45 minutes to unload that dishwasher, and she shot him a dirty look and replied that she wouldn't have had to if SOMEONE hadn't had the sink full. She then proceeded to sit in a chair across the room, and KSL said "You don't have to sit over there. You can come sit on the couch."
She couldn't do it. She couldn't handle the mind games while high, she couldn't take the guilt of where she even sat in her own apartment. "Look," KSL said kindly, "I know you are high for the first time and I just want you to be comfortable, sit wherever you want."
She stood up, and without breaking eye contact walked past him into her room and shut the door.
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