Thursday, April 8, 2021

Not Over It

 The pandemic had given her too much time to think.  Her mind wandered through the last 5 years.  Spending time with The Ex was irking her more than usual as he had inherited some money, bought a house, but kept making the same mistakes that led to their divorce.

Her anxiety mimicked Covid symptoms for awhile in the beginning.  KSL started spiraling, she started spiraling, and they both drank too much and had too many edibles.  She was micro-dosing through her day as the pressure to "find money making schemes" to help her job from home mounted.  S

She decided that the chances of her finding a significant other she wanted to have babies with in a pandemic was so farfetched she just had a hysterotomy. 

She found a few hairs on her head that weren't gray, weren't white, but had just lost any sort of pigment.  They were her natural hair color, and then suddenly they were cooked vermicelli.  Then, back to the natural color.

Finally, days before Christmas, her job was "eliminated."  She started 2021 unemployed, with a roommate, and turning 40.  Hypo symptoms were left to rage with the loss of her insurance.

Day 240 was the day she stopped counting the pandemic.  It had all gone on long enough.

Her first vaccine shot was behind her, but it felt never ending.  There was no flowery of fancy way of saying it, so she stopped talking.